Stop the bus, I wanna get off. by SJV
2017/03/09  |  By:   |  Features  |  

It can happen anytime, anywhere and can last for 5 seconds, 5 minutes or literally, 5 hours. It takes no prisoners. It can wake me up, keep me up and shut me up.

This morning, on my commute it went something like this….

“Pretty shoes, like those people in French history with the big white wigs and….wow great legs. Cheese. That bag does not go with those…Oh no, excuse ME. Oooh shiny. Must remember to tell Alva… Stop stop stop sniffing. You! You hateful man. Great hair. Did I remember deodorant? What the actual… shall I get a bagel? God I love Marmite. Where’s my purse? STOP SNIFFING. Where am I going tonight? Did I lock the… can’t wait for Summer Hours. He’s tall.  Which one was Heavy D and the….Gin.  Double soufflé tonight.  Could be worse….great legs.”

I don’t know why, why or wta, but it seems that when I’m at my very very most busiest of busy, with To Do Lists coming out of every orifice, THAT’S when my mind chooses to go rogue.  Can I focus? Can I ‘eck.

And those that know, will know that I’m knee deep in (oooh gorgeous sunrise, where’s my phone?) preparing for LBF and so natch, this is when my mind is rogueing like it’s never rogued before.  I’m not ready. Nowhere near ready. So far from ready that the ready line is a dot to me. To be clear – the van taking all our kits and presentations and ‘stuff’ left for Olympia at 5pm last night.  Were any of my kits, presentations and ‘stuff’ on said van?  Were they ‘eck.

Last year I wrote here about LBF, about the highs and the lows and the dinosaurs and the shoes… and here we are, about to embark on the whole shebang again.  Only this year, THIS YEAR, I’m not ready.  Stop the bus, I wanna get off.  I’m never not ready.  For anything.  I’m the kind of girl who arrives at a train station at least an hour before my train leaves.  I’m the kind of girl who gets to work 2 hours before I’m obliged to.  I’m the kind of girl who… oooh tuna.  See?  SEE?

So I’ve spent a good 10 minutes this morning selecting which of my new notebooks I would take to the Fair this year, instead of starting, let alone finishing, any one of the 36 Business Review grids I need to prepare – and of course, I’m writing this column instead of starting, let alone finishing, any one of the 20 Client, Imprint or Genre Title Presentations I need to get done.  Cause, sure that’ll help ease the panic, right?  WRONG.  Focus Virtue.  Focus… and remember, it’s ONLY books. What could possibly go wrong?





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